Thoughts
by Leytima
Summary: EDIT 4/24/13: Remus muses over his thoughts for Sirius


**A/N: EDIT Okay, so this story had a bunch of humiliating mistakes in it, and I had to fix it. You had no idea how much it was bothering me.**

**Anyway, this was written by me, Fatima, and it was a very late birthday gift for my friend.**

**It contains boyxboy, so if you are not comfortable reading by this, I welcome you to exit the story.**

**Disclaimer- The lovely JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, I'm just playing in her sandbox.**

Remus gazed upon the green courtyard outside the castle before lying himself down.

He wouldn't call it going back to his favorite thought-he always thought about him.

Remus Lupin had a one tracked mind. And it was set on Sirius Black.

He wasn't confused anymore. He had silently confirmed a long time ago. He never told his confidants, he never told anyone.

His mother hadn't censored this type of 'different' romance; she openly disliked it in front of her son. She thought her son was safe from this type of unaverage love, thinking he picked up the same thoughts of his mother, and Remus thought so to.

But when he saw Sirius for the first time five years ago, when he witnessed the boy's carefree, joyful nature, his flawless ivory skin, the soft mass of raven black hair and granite eyes, Remus wasn't sure if he really did pick up his mother's opinion.

The feeling, he thought at first, was just confusion. Maybe he was really just envying on how Sirius captured the attention of every girl, while Remus only got a glance from Lily Evans.

But Remus didnt even give attention to girls. He never remembered throwing lusting eyes at a female's chest, showing desire while staring at any of their faces, throughout year one to year six.

He spent the first month in his first year of Hogwarts watching Sirius during all of his classes. Remus examined him pulling harmless pranks on the Charms teacher, Sirius's facial expression when he was told he got a detention. Because Sirius sat behind Remus, he had to observe Sirius's reflection on his round, black cauldron.

Then there was that one say when Sirius had taken up his hazea seat of ahead of his desk, trying to copy off the notes he missed while daydreaming. He had caught Remus staring at his reflection in the dark pot.

In a very Sirius Black-like manner, the grey eyed boy had pulled up both his hands, curling all his fingers except for his index-which were aimed at pointing-and nodded his head, winking at the same time.

Remus nearly jumped out of his seat when Sirius did the 'you lookin' fine' gesture. He turned around in his chair to see Sirius Black laughing at Remus's expression.

Since then, they both knew that they would be friends. Sometimes, Remus thought, the outcome of the simplest actions people do can draw the connection of other person towards them.

There were countless things Remus loved about Sirius, and it only grew the last five years. The Sirius ran his fingers through his silk ebony hair, the corner winks he would give to Remus when he successfully clubbed the Bludger towards the other team during a Quidditch game, the laughter-oh, Sirius's laugh. Even if it were a mere chuckle, it seemed the room would light up. It was like river water washing over a path of stones.

Remus sighed and dug his head deeper into the soft grass. No, he wasn't confused, not any more. He was in love with one of his best friends ever since he first saw him.

But it wasn't just love at first sight. No, it was more complicated.

Sirius Black had touched Remus Lupin's soul. He grabbed it with two hands, shredded it, and shaped it. Sirius was the keeper of Remus's heart.

And maybe, Remus mused sadly, he'll never know.

Wrapped in his thoughts, Remus didn't notice the footsteps approaching.

"Oi! Moony! We've been looking all over for you." Sirius called, falling next to Remus as he rose himself up, "What are you doing here? The match is going to start in an hour."

Remus let his eyes glaze over his friend for a split second before answering, "Yeah, I was on my way up." and throwing in a smile. He would always smile for Sirius's sake.

Remus was rewarded with one of Sirius's intoxicating grin.

One day, Remus confirmed, one day I'll tell him everything. But for now I'll just enjoy this.


End file.
